Dear Animal Food Makers

Dear Animal Food Makers:

Thank you for changing the packaging that holds your animal food. You have finally realized that paper does not hold 50 lbs of dog, cat or horse food long enough to make it into the cart at the store, let alone into your car, then across the yard/driveway, into the house and into whatever container it will stay in until consumption. I am glad that you have finally figured that out.

Unfortunately, your current choice of packaging has it's issues as well. I love that you have reinforced the bags so cats, dogs, mice, whatever cannot get into them. However, you seem to have forgotten that us humans DO need to get into them. The rip/pull tags that you put need to come off of the bag in bigger than 1" sections in order for the bag to actually open. When that pull tag is no longer a viable option to open the bag, one normally goes to ripping a hole in the bag itself. I discovered tonight that what you say is true! The bag will not rip open and is now sturdier than ever! It won't ever rip open when you take a screwdriver to it, or a pitch fork. When you do that, it only leaves minuscule holes that you cannot rip to make a bigger hole. Bravo! As a matter of fact, the only thing I could find that worked was to pound and rip at the bag with the jagged edge of a lawn-mower fender. It worked, but just barely. Thank goodness my husband has jagged lawn-mower fenders laying around for just such purposes!

Lastly, I'd like you to write a letter of apology to our neighbors, who were in their driveway. They live far enough away, but I think they may have heard the ruckus of tonight and could possibly think that some foul play was involved. After all, I had the privilege of opening up a cat, dog and horse food bag tonight (let's all run out of food at the same time, shall we?), all by myself, in the barn, with cats meowing, a dog barking, 2 horses neighing at me, and one of those horses pawing at the ground as well. They were getting a bit impatient. So was I. When all the animals quieted down (after I yelled at them to shut it) all the neighbors could hear was the dull thwack and thump of my fender, my curses, and the now silent animals. I fear they may think I did something to them. So please, write them a simple note explaining the cause of my frustration. I'd really appreciate it.

Oh, and make the bags a little easier to open. Please?

Sincerely,
Candy