The Young One

I have one older sister, and that's it. Even though are only the two of us siblings, that doesn't mean we didn't have the same sibling squabbles (say that 5x fast!) or the same feelings of unfairness and injustice over something the other one got to do. I distinctly remember wanting to get chicken pox because my sister had them and got to stay with Gramma during the day, watching movies, eating ice cream and having fun. Of course, I didn't understand that they itched and hurt and all that. I was thrilled to have the pox show up a few days later, anxious for my own special time with Gramma like my sister.

In my home right now, there are 3 siblings, all sisters. I see how upset Alayna gets at times, being the oldest and therefore the one we expect the most out of because of her maturity. I see how upset Lilly sometimes gets because she can't do fun things that Alayna gets to do because she's not old enough, but she doesn't get away with certain things like Mikayla might. And I see how upset Mikayla gets, always being the baby, always trying to play catch up to the big girls.

This morning as I was getting Alayna ready for 3rd grade and Lilly ready for 4K, Mikayla woke up and announced that she was going to school. When I told her she can't go to school with the girls, she responded, "But I'm taller! I big now." Oh honey, if only it were that easy. Then as we watched the girls climb onto the bus, Mikayla proudly told me that she's going to school tomorrow. "I read my books and play outside." When I told her they do much more than that at school, she responded with, "They jump with their friends? I can jump, so I go to school!"

I can relate to that, being the younger sister. I remember my sister having her first sleep-over at our house, or at another friend's house. I remember her playing sports and me watching from the sidelines. I remember my sister and her best friend making me play all the "undesirable" characters when we played because I was littlest. I remember her driving and me sitting next to her, envious. But I also remember getting away with things that she didn't, simply because I was younger and "didn't know any better". And I remember feeling more confident in several ways because I had already watched my sister go through sports, or drivers' training, or whatever. She was my inside information, from watching her all those years.

So I understand when Mikayla wants to be like the big girls. I get it. But as Mom, I want to slow her down and make her be my little girl as long as possible. I know how fast it goes. I've been there with her two older sisters. She wants things to speed up and I want them to slow down. But instead, I play along and pretend that we have a schoolroom in the kitchen. We read books and play games, and our school is much better than real school. But she knows. She knows it's not the same. And she still wakes each day, hoping she's now tall enough to go to school like the big girls.